


My Nightmares are Real

by Soul_Vixen



Series: Of Nightmares and Daydreams [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, He'll be nice, I Tried, I don't know what I'm doing, Logan sucks at emotions, Pardon my errors, Patton just wants to help, Self Harm, Swear Words, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Tell me what you think?, Virgil is a smol anxious bean and I love him, and therefore no one should criticize me, but even he can see that Virgil is Not Okay™, but trying, failing, help me, hopefully, maybe later?, no snakey boi today, probably, roman is trying, what are these tags, wrote this really late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soul_Vixen/pseuds/Soul_Vixen
Summary: Virgil has a nightmare that none of the other sides can see him, just to wake and find out it's not a dream.Or, the sides play a prank on Virgil, unaware of the damage being done to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, first actual fic. Please comment if there's anything I can work on. I hope it's well received!

Virgil woke with his terror weighing down his limbs and mind, trying frantically to calm his beating heart. This was a constant fear of his, especially since he told the others his name. _That probably heightened it_ , he mused dispassionately. The pain of being forgotten would probably have increased tenfold after he had actually connected with the other sides. Attempting to comfort himself, he tried to reason that the fear was irrational, like Logan said most things were. After all, he was the embodiment of anxiety, but he knew the others would never forget him. Right?

***

Falling out of bed in the morning after getting 2 hours of nightmare- ridden, horrific sleep.

10 out of 10, would definitely recommend!

Virgil groaned as he rubbed his shoulder and eyed the alarm clock. It was way to early for this shit. But he could smell pancakes, so that might make it worth it to be awake at 6:53 in the fucking morning. He debated the pros and cons of just randomly appearing in the kitchen, but eventually decided against it. He really didn't need another lecture about getting the optimal exercise amount from Logan, which was standardly followed by a tangent about health benefits and sleep cycles and zzzzzzz…

The anxious trait shook his head bemusedly. _Well, at least if I need to sleep again, I can just think about Logan._

Applying his eyeshadow only took a few moments, and then he was shuffling down the stairs and stifling a yawned behind his hand. Sliding into his spot, he greeted the others with a simple, “Hi,” but the others talked over him, very much in depth with the current conversation about the next Sander's Sides video. He shrugged, knowing they took this very seriously, especially Roman. Finding extra pancakes piled at the center, where everyone was still picking at their food, he took the plate and slid it noisily across the table, attempting to gain their attention.

No one looked up. 

Virgil frowned, stood up, and walked over to the others with deliberate, quick movements that resembled a wary bird, ready to engage in flight the moment it was startled. Waving his hand in front of Roman's face, he felt something inside him go cold.

Roman had no response. Not even a blink, or a hesitation in his movements, or a shift in the smile fixed on his face.

All of Virgil's insecurities and fears came rushing up in a darkness that he was afraid would swallow him whole as he staggered away from his… family? Friends? Others that he had stupidly hoped would accept him for who he was?

Stumbling away in a daze, he missed the others watching him from the corner of their eyes.

He missed Roman giggling about his prank being carried through perfectly.

He didn't notice Logan tracking him with a sharp gaze, taking in the slump of his shoulders. 

And he failed to see  Patton gazing at him and thinking about the sudden deadness that had overtaken his dark, strange son’s eyes.

*** 

_I'mnotrealI'mnotreal I'm not rEAL_

Virgil stumbled though different rooms in the mind palace, unable to force the thought from his head.

Why was his heart so loud? 

Could the others hear it?

Did that make him real?

Was he real?

Blindly blundering your way through the haze in your thoughts and not paying attention to your surroundings often go hand in hand.

This was no different, so it really wasn't a surprise when he felt the sharp reprieve of pain snap at him like a dog as he slammed his shoulder into a door jam. But at least he could think now. 

Sort of. 

Virgil took a slow, shaky breath, silently counting.

 _1, 2, 3, 4…._  

He still couldn't think, so he just gave up. 

Sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, he buried his head in his arms and flipped up his hood. Gnawing on his lip nervously, he contemplated the conundrum that he'd found himself in. 

But the only thing he could focus on was the pain, and how good it felt that there was something that anchored him to reality. 

His mind seemed to switch to auto pilot, because when he finally came back to his senses, he found himself in his room, holding a box cutter as the metal sparkled at him, almost as though it was winking at him. 

Slowly, he brought it close to his arm, and…

 _No! What am I thinking?! I can't-_  

**_Yes we can. We have before, haven't we? You have the scars to prove it. Why fight it?_ **

_God damnit,_  he hated that voice! He hated it, he hated himself and he hated that stupid, _stupid_ blade. This wasn't the only one he had either.

He rolled up his sleeve and retreated to the bathroom connected to his room. Shutting the door with a soft thud and locking it, he took out a pocket knife that he'd hidden under the sink. Turning it over in his hand, it greeted him with a serrated smile. Virgil took a breath, held his arm over the sink and promised himself, this _will_ be the last time.

The metal cut through his skin like paper, and crimson flowed through the cut, covering old, silvery scars, and fresher, reddish, healing ones. 

Scars of past promises and whispered secrets.

Scars of knowledge and insults.

Scars of self-loathing and insecurity.

Cut after cut after cut… Until there were twelve bleeding lines on his arm, bright crimson making it's sluggish way down to drip into the sink.

Breathing through his mouth slowly, and finally able to think clearly, he rinsed off the blood and swiftly wrapped his forearms in gauze.

Ignoring the fact that he was a little light-headed, he flung himself onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. 

And in the silence, he fell apart. 

He'd never felt so alone before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly thrilled at the fact that people like my writing!  
> Thank you all!  
> sorry that this one's shorter though.  
> I'll try to do better next time!

“Roman, I believe that we should stop this childish nonsense before any damage is caused.”

Patton looked up as Logan spoke while reading his book. 

“Oh, relax Pocket Protector! It's fine. Besides, it's just a prank!” Roman said flippantly. However, turning to look at Patton, he faltered. “But if it's… bothering you this much, I suppose we could stop.”

Patton immediately brightened. “Great!! I'll go tell him right away!!”

“Perhaps it would be more beneficial to allow him some space and time to himself before you explain the act of playful trickery to him.”

The other two stared at him cluelessly, then spoke at the same time.

“Great idea, Logan!” Patton gushed, a bit confused about what was said.

“But in the meantime, I am able to continue the prank, yes?” Roman interjected.

Logan simply sighed.

***

Virgil remained face down on his bed, unaware of the conversation that was going on downstairs.

He kind of wanted to scream into his pillow, but that would take too much effort.

Having a panic attack and suffering from blood loss does not deal well with a lack of energy, and put that with awful sleep? 

 _This is probably what dying feels like,_ he thought with faint amusement.

_Wait, no. I'm not nearly lucky enough for that to happen._

There was a sudden crash and a scream of “ROMAN CREATIVITY SANDERS!” from downstairs that made him jolt up and then hold his head. _Shouldn't move to quickly, I suppose._

He debated briefly about going downstairs to see what was happening, but then decided against it.

Only to find himself getting up and slowly making his way over to the door.

Padding down the stairs at a snail's pace, his poked his head through the banister and saw a scene that made him try and smother a giggle.

Roman, the self-proclaimed 'royalty,’ was sitting in the middle of a pile of broken dishes, apologizing to a fuming Logan and an exasperated Patton.

The attentions of the fatherly trait switched immediately, however, when he saw Virgil.

“Oh, hey Virge!”

The other two swung around in time to see the darker side go white.

“Ah, Virgil.” Logan stepped in front of the others, eyeing the darker side with scrutiny. “There you are.”

“W-what?” Virgil gripped the banister even tighter, eyes bright and confused. “But-but I th-thought that….” His voice trailed off weakly as he struggled with whatever thoughts were running rampant through his head.

Logan frowned and glanced over to where the fatherly side was cleaning up the broken dishes while Roman stood by him sheepishly apologizing. “Yes, I do expect that what happened this morning shall be explained with detail-”

“It was a prank, you nerd. Just say prank!” Romans voice carried over to them.

Logan gave a long suffering sigh and looked back to Virgil. “Yes. That.”

Virgil fought down the storm of emotions raging through him. He forced out a laugh, and gasped out, “yeah, you guys really got me.” Lifting his arm and rubbing at the back of his neck, he winced minutely as his skin split under the bandages again.

Logan’s eyes tracked the movement, though, and he was clearly suspicious of something, but said nothing.

Virgil squeaked as Patton, finally done with cleaning up the glass, threw himself at him. “Can we just watch a movie?”

“And never do that again, please and thank you,” Logan muttered.

“The prank or the jumping at others and expecting them to catch you?”

“Yes.”

“...”

 _But still_ , Logan thought, watching the others, specifically Virgil. _I feel as though there is more going on with Virgil than he would like us to believe. At the same time, however, it could be nothing._

And yet, the analytical trait couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again, thank you all for the support!  
> I've legitimately never felt more validated than when a bunch of strangers that don't know me enjoy what little I can do!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like an hour and a half

Patton knew the entire setup was a bad idea.

He knew but tried to convince himself that it was just going to be a lighthearted joke between friends.

But when Virgil left the dining room of the Mindspace…

Patton could feel the absolute agony that his self proclaimed son had gone through for a second before it abruptly cut off, and an icy numbness had replaced it. It had felt as though he had submerged himself in an ice bath before he snapped back to notice the other sides.

After Logan had refuted his idea of immediately explaining what happened, instead advising to wait for Virgil to come to them on his own, he couldn’t help but think that waiting would make the situation even worse. But when Virgil had actually come out (no doubt because of the almighty crash that Roman had caused), he had allowed himself to feel a moment of trepidation as to how Virgil would react to this news.

But Virgil had played along, saying (in an admittedly weak way, but still) it was a good prank. But Patton could still feel some fear lingering, so he decided that physical contact would be the best way to deal with that.

Along with a movie and more cuddles to subdue the storm brewing in Virgil’s mind, of course.

As they all settled down to watch _Oliver and Company_ , Patton made sure that Virgil was between Logan and himself. Ignoring the slight flinch the darker trait gave when Patton first leaned on him, he settled into it with a content sigh.

“Who are we the most like?” He wondered aloud. “I think that Virgil’s more like Oliver,” he offered.

“You think I’m a small orange kitten with a rather sad past?” Virgil arched his eyebrow, back to his normal, cynical self (mostly).

“Well, I mean, you do kind of have a sad past. Also you did seem like kind of a scaredy-cat when you first showed up, but then you got better!” 

(Logan took note of the way Virgil’s eyes flashed away as Patton said ‘got better.’)

The anxious trait shrugged. “Fair enough I guess.” He smirked. “Roman is totally Georgette, though.”

“What?!? How?!?!” Roman burst incredulously (dramatically).

“You’re self absorbed, were really rude to me when we first met, and obsessed with your looks.” Virgil remained deadpan through the entire delivery.

“If anything, I’m more like Rita!”

“I believe that role would fit Patton more.”

“Why?” 

“If we continue to compare Virgil to Oliver, then it stands to reason that the parental figure to Oliver would also be the parental role in Virgil’s life.”

“Aw, Logan! That was really sweet!” Patton squeaked.

“Well then, Pocket Protector, who are you?” Roman sat back after gesturing to the screen.

“Oh! I think he’s like Jenny!”

“Patton, what-”

“He takes care of us most of the time and keeps us safe! Also he’s able to keep you under control…”

Virgil snickered.

Roman started off on another tangent, and Patton took the opportunity to get a glimpse of how Virgil was doing.

Much better, it seemed, but at the same time there was an odd emotion that Patton couldn’t place. It was almost like… regret with a bit of defiance, but dulled around the edges. Like he had done something but refused to feel bad for it, or it had happened so many times he just didn’t really care.

Or refused to.

Patton frowned slightly, but promised himself to keep further watch over the darker side.

He would make sure that Virgil was fine for real.

Not just wearing a mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a problem with cliffhangers and I just realized this.  
> I apologize.  
> Tell me what you think?


	4. Chapter 4

Roman found himself continuously glancing at the others throughout the duration of the film. Despite what the others had probably assumed, he had, in fact, taken stock of the situation and noticed the differences in the other sides’ behaviors

Patton, always a little too tuned in to the emotions of others, was trying to hard to pretend that nothing was wrong, but Roman could see the valiant effort, and attempted to add his own standard dramatic flair.

Logan, however, was acting different in a way that was more noticeable; he would glance over at Virgil, a hint of something would flicker across his normally indifferent expression before shifting slightly. After a while, it almost seemed as though he was attempting to offer support in a nonverbal means by pressing up against Virgil slightly.

The Dark Prince himself though… it was very evident that there was something off. He would glance around, tug at his sleeves slightly, gnaw on his lip, and scratch rather viciously at any part of exposed skin; even his neck.

For all that though, he smirked to cover his inner turmoil, and Roman tried to ignore the way his stomach rolled uncomfortably by telling himself that Virgil was fine. He knew it was just a prank, he knew they would never forget about him, and he knew that they wouldn't let him feel as though he was insignificant ever again.

Right?

Absolutely. There was no need to be concerned. Virgil was fine.

And besides, he seemed to be doing much better than before with Logan offering constant silent support.

But at the same time….

Why would Logan do anything like this unless something was truly wrong? It wasn't his style to overreact (much less react at all) to a situation. Maybe there was something wrong….?

Roman was pulled out of his musings as he heard a voice tinted with amusement. “Careful, Princy, don't think to hard.” The energetic side looked up to see the movie over, Patton gone, and Virgil standing over him with that oh-so-familiar slightly forced smirk. “You don't want to strain your brain to much.”

Roman scoffed. “At least I have a brain.”

“Oh, original. Wouldn't expect anything less from the most creative side.” There was the teasing. It was normal, everyday, and made it easier to pretend that nothing was wrong.

“Okay, you know what? I will not stand to be insulted by this!” Still on the chair, he attempted to maneuver his sword out. “On guard!”

“Good thing you're sitting then.” Virgil didn't even turn as he began to walk away grinning sadistically.

“That's it!” Roman lunged and grabbed onto Virgil's arm and swung him back around to face him.

He didn't notice the flinch as he held on.

Didn't notice the quiet hiss of pain from the side with the forced smile and broken eyes.

Or perhaps he simply blocked it out. After all…

Everything was fine.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add Deceit and Remy?  
> I have a vague idea of how they would fit in the story, and it would be sympathetic Deceit.  
> Also, sorry again for how short it is.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little more fluff than angst, I suppose.

Virgil sighed as he crept out of the darkened room that he had managed to escape from. He was fully aware of the fact that he could have just sunk out, but that could raised a few more concerns.

Yes, he had seen the way other sides were acting.

Patton was essentially being the mediator, making sure things weren't too overwhelming for him, Roman was avoiding eye contact while still trying to put up a front, and Logan….

Logan  _ knew _ .

He had to. It was the only thing that would've made sense with the way he had been acting, even glancing at Virgil's arms every so often while the movie was playing.

If Virgil was being honest, though, he much preferred Logan's tactic of approaching him. The way the other two were trying so hard to act like everything was okay was starting to put him on edge.

He shuddered as he felt a warm drop of liquid run down the length of his arm under the poorly wrapped gauze.

Well… more on edge.

For a second, he thought about going to Logan to ask how to properly tie a bandage, but quickly dismissed that plan. If the topic was breached, Logan would want to know why he had asked in the first place.

Slinking into his bedroom, he kept the light off and navigated purely on memory. Getting to his bed, he shed his jacket and flopped down. Burying his face in his pillow, he closed his eyes and wondered if he should tell the others about the little coping mechanism he'd picked up. Snorting softly at the idea, he pictured how the others would react. Patton would probably panic and start treating him like he was fragile while at the same time try to aggressively cuddle the negative thoughts away. Roman most likely say he was overreacting, but would then blame himself and say it was his fault…

Which it technically was, let's be honest.

Logan would actually be the most helpful in this situation. He could provide the best ways to avoid it, show him how to cope better with his emotions.

Didn't sound that bad, to be honest.

Oh, who was he kidding, he was never going to go for help anyway.

Besides, someone already knew about the scars and marks littering his body.

Two someones, actually.

As Virgil's thoughts began to drift away, he felt a presence appear in his room and a familiar voice pipe up.

“Gurl, thank GOD you decided to take a nap. I was about to chase you down myself and make you sleep!”

Virgil struggled to open his eyes and whispered, “Remy?”

“The one and-oh, honey….” Remy's voice trailed off, and Virgil managed to pry his eyes open just enough to see the other with his sunglasses up and sadness in his gaze as he reached for the bloodsoaked wrappings on the anxious traits arms. Turning his face away in shame, he felt his face burn as tears threatened to fall. He felt someone gently stroke his hair, and was faintly aware that it couldn't have been Remy, as both of his hands were busy. Glancing back, he saw a glowing yellow eye.

“It's  _ not _ okay, little stormcloud. We  _ won't  _ talk about it after you wake up.”

Virgil grinned despite his fading consciousness and tear filled eyes.

“Thanks, Dee.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's so short, but it couldn't really think of much past this.

Deceit stared at the smaller side, running his tounge along the edges of his fangs as he thought. Remy was sitting on the bed next to Virgil, curling around him and softly petting his hair. Tossing the empty Starbucks cup at the reptilian side, he snickered as he successfully managed to hit the other side in the face. Deceit looked at the sleep trait with a deadpan expression before settling down next to him.

“I think the others  _ do  _ know about this.”

“Then why didn't they- okay, gurl, we  _ need  _ to go to your room so it's easier for me to understand.”

Deceit sighed and nodded, sinking out to go to his room as Remy, still holding Virgil, sank out with him. Remy tossed the unconscious side down on the gold and dark green bed, and shrugged when the serpentine side hissed at him. “Yeet.”

“No.”

“Fine. Anyway, he should stay asleep for like, two hours, so I'mma go watch a concert while attempting to distract myself from the fact that Virge reverted back to an unhealthy habit he promised he'd stop talk to ya later Dee byyyyeeee.” Remy somehow managed to say this all in one breath while sinking back out of the room.

Deceit rolled his eyes fondly before turning back to Virgil, who still had tearstains on his face. Glancing over the newer job of bandages, he nodded to himself; Remy had done a good job.

Just as he was about to sit and take out a book to read, he felt the tug of Thomas's summons. Hissing slightly but knowing there was no other way for this, he shifted into Virgil. Putting on his best disgruntled expression, he paused before answering the summons. Perhaps….

Deceit allowed one flaw to his perfect mimicry.

A small, light, purple and silver scale just next to 'Virgil’s’ eye.

_ If those idiots don't notice this, I  _ **_will_ ** _ have words with them about how their stupidity has harmed Virgil on too many occasions. _

But he had been listening to lies the others, specifically Roman and Patton, had fed themselves.

_It's fine._

_He knows it was a prank. No harm done._

_If he won't talk about it, it can't be that bad, right?_

Damian grinned harshly; all sharp teeth and hard edges.

_Care for each other indeed._

Time to put on a show.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff for the angst

Remy lied.

He was more or less just going to stare at the wall until he forced himself back together and went off to do something else that could be seen as mildly productive.

At least to some.

Strolling back into the room, he shifted his shades down his nose and looked at Virgil, who was starting to stir. Grinning widly, he crept closer until he was right next to the anxious traits face.

So when Virgil rolled over, he got to see himself in all of his sleep muddled glory in a pair of mirrored sunglasses.

He blinked for a second before shrieking and flailing frantically swatting at Remy as he tried to run. Instead, all he managed to do was knock himself off the bed and brace for impact on the hard, stone floor in Damian's room.

Instead of the bruising force he expected, he felt himself get caught and looked at Remy, who was smirking in his usual self-satisfied way.

“Remy!” Virgil growled, his attempt and being angry diminished by the fact that his hair was fluffy and frazzled and the way he was trying to suppress a grin. “You don't do that to someone that had anxiety, you asshole!”

“Oh, hun, I'm sorry, did I scare you?” Remy teased playfully before being struck by an idea and dumping the other side down on the bed as he let out an undignified squawk. Looking over him, he grinned maliciously. “I know a way I could make it up to you, Virge~”

“Oh, God, I do  _ not  _ like that face.”

Prowling closer, movements as sleek as a hunting panther, he retained eye contact with Virgil, who started to move back, recognizing the look on his face.

“Remy, don't you fucking dare do what I think you're about to do RemY NO!”

His cries for mercy went unheeded as the sleep function pounced. Jabbing at the younger sides ribs with nimble fingers, he tickled him relentlessly.

Soon the room was filled with raucous laughter from both sides, Virgil managing to fight back on a few moments.

Damian, who had been on the verge of storming into the room, had instead slipped in quietly and watched the proceedings as Virgil almost fell off the bed, but was caught and instead dipped by Remy.

When the two noticed him, they sat back and looked at him expectantly.

“So, babe? Care to fill us in?” Remy paused, blowing his bangs out of his face and making three coffees appear. Handing one to Virgil, he mimed tossing the third at Damian with a meaningful look. Damian sighed and stalked over to join them. As he settled down between them, he whipped off his gloves, tugged Virgil closer to him, and swiped the coffee from Remy.

“It's a good thing I can't lie in my room, because holy  _ shit  _ do I have a story to tell.”

As the story began, Virgil fiddled with the bandages on his arm and took careful note of how they were wrapped.

Who knows? He might need that skill later.


	8. Chapter 8

When Damian appeared in the living room disguised as Virgil, he immediately noticed that the atmosphere was much tenser than what could be considered normal. Patton was fidgeting with the sleeves of his gray cardigan, glancing at the others every so often but had a smile fixed on his face that grew slightly less strained as ‘Virgil’ appeared. Roman seemed to be lacking a certain… sparkle? Yes, that was a good way to describe it. Logan was the only one that was actually blatantly ‘fine.’ 

“Okay, guys!” Thomas blurted out excitedly. “I had an idea for a new video, so I just wanted to see what you guys thought!”

Deceit allowed himself to feel a dejected pang while simultaneously telling himself that it was his fault that others didn’t include him as his actual self.

Then he noticed the looks that Logan was giving him.

The logical function’s sharp eyes tracked along ‘Virgil’s’ face, stopped on the shining scale, and made eye contact with the reptilian side. Opening his mouth, he paused when Damian lifted a finger and pressed it to his lips silently. Looking on in resignation, he started to gesture while glancing at the others to make sure they didn’t see what he was doing.

_Is Virgil okay?_

Damian stared before his brain caught up with his eyes. He brought his hand up to his side and twitched it to the left and right.

_Sort of._

Logan frowned, threw a quick look at the others and signed again.

 _Is he_ … Logan’s movements stuttered and he thought for a second.

_Safe?_

_Yes._

The other visibly relaxed. 

“Logan? You good?”

“My apologizes, Thomas. I am fine. However, there is something that I must focus on now, so I shall be taking my leave.” He tossed a meaningful look at Deceit and held up ten fingers.

_Stay for ten more minutes._

Well, it would give ample time to chew the others out. 

Turning to face Roman and Patton head on, he fixed Virgil’s usual smirk on his face. “Come on, Princey, you’re the creative one. What should we add?”

Roman’s face broke out in a smile so wide that Damian winced internally. “As a matter of fact, my Dark Knight, yes! I do!”

Patton responded with equal enthusiasm and they went back and forth.

Until ten minutes was up.

And they hadn’t noticed.

Deceit dropped his disguise abruptly, a snarl caught in his throat. As the two side let out shocked yelps, he lunged at them, dragged them back into the mindspace, and tossed them on the couch. He fought the urge to raise his voice, but the fact that they hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t who they thought, especially when Logan had right off the bat…

And they hadn’t seen _how much_ Virgil was hurting….

“Are you _blind_ ?” He rasped. The two looked at him with trepidation. “Do you try to just block out the problems until they leave? Because that is _not how life works!!!!_ ”

He was forcing himself to speak the truth in hopes that it would get through to them, but his throat felt like someone was dragging the point of a blade down it. He suppressed a cough. “You don’t see the most obvious things because you don’t want things to go wrong! You lie to yourself to make situations sound better than they actually are, and in the process, you hurt others. None of _this_ ,” he growled, gesturing around him and at the two terrified sides, “is  _okay!_ ” 

Throwing his hands up, he muttered something under his breath. “I am _leaving_ ,” he hissed, “and _you_ will _not follow me._ Or you _will regret it._ ” 

Giving them one last glare he sank out and entered his bedroom. Sighing as his room healed his throat, he looked at the bed where Virgil and Remy were in the midst of a tickle war. Not bothering to subdue the grin, and watched until they noticed him and made room. He tugged Vigil closer to him and took the offered coffee from Remy. Taking a sip, he prepared to explain.


	9. Chapter 9

Logan sighed as he pondered the cause of Deceit showing up. He had seemed a bit on edge, although that could have been the fact that he knew he wasn't really welcomed with open arms. At least he had answered the questions Logan had presented to him. Shifting slightly so he was a little more comfortable, he heard a voice.

“Virge, honey, why is your friend trying to make out with a wall?”

Logan jerked up and looked at a side wearing reflective sunglasses and holding a Starbucks cup and was closely followed by Deceit and Virgil.

Clearing his throat and standing up straighter, he adjusted his glasses. “I was not attempting to 'make out,’ as you say, with the wall. I was just thinking.”

“Gurl, if you thought any harder, you’d’ve glared a hole right through it.” The sunglasses slid further down the other sides nose to reveal a rather cold pair of brown eyes as he sent an appraising glance at Logan. “Name's Remy, by the way.”

“Ah.” Logan shifted uncomfortably. “Salutations. My name is Logan.”

'Remy’ immediately seemed to become warmer towards him. “Oh, you're Logan? Good on you then, hun!”

Virgil snickered in the background as Logan turned his befuddled gaze to Deceit. “I'm sorry, what is happening?”

The serpentine side’s tongue flickered out briefly. “I most certainly did  _ not _ tell them that you were the only one that  _ did _ lie to yourself about Virgil.”

“Thank you for that, babe.” Remy casually interjected, scrolling through Tumblr on his phone.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Well,  _ somebody _ had to notice what was going on with Vee. Other than me and Damian, of course.”

“Damian and I,” Logan corrected without thinking. Then he froze. “Wait… Damian?” He turned to Deceit, who inclined his head slightly and hissed quietly.

“Alright then, Autocorrect, Damian and I.”

“Logan?” A small voice rang through the air like a bell as Virgil stepped out from behind the two. “Thank you for being worried, but I'm fine.”

“Lie.”

“No.”

“Falsehood.”

Three voices sounded out at the same time. Remy put his phone away and settled his elbow on to Virgil's shoulder. “You're not fine sweetie. But that's okay. You don't have to always be fine.” His gaze flickered to Logan. “You're allowed to feel emotions.”

Logan stepped forward. “Forgive me if I am crossing any boundaries, but may I see? You can refuse if you wish.”

“No, it-it’s fine Logan.” Despite the waver in his voice, and faint flash of fear in his eyes, Virgil rolled up his sleeves.

“ The bandaging is very well done, at least. Very neat.” Logan remarked, deftly undoing a part to get a good look at the cuts. “I'm assuming you cleaned the wounds before wrapping them.”

“Yeah.” Virgil kept his eyes averted as the other two conversed about something else. The only thing that former had heard was “ _d_ _ o _ you have venom?” “Remy for the  _ first _ time, I  _ surely _ know.”

(Let it be known that Logan wanted to test that as well.)

“Well, they should heal soon, providing you take care of them and they don't get infected.” Logan hesitated. “Do you…”

“What?”

Instead of answering, Logan held out his arms awkwardly. Virgil squinted at him until Damian gave a long suffering sigh and staged whispered, “you moron, he  _ isn't  _ asking if you want a hug.”

“Oh! Um, sure? I guess?” Virgil reached forward awkwardly and snaked his arms around Logan's torso. Both seemed rather tense until Logan rubbed Virgil's shoulder and they both eventually relaxed into it.

“Aw, group hug!” Remy cooed. He grabbed Damian and tugged him into it as well while they slid down to the floor. After a few moments, Logan spoke.

“Perhaps we should move to a couch? It would be much more comfortable.”

“ _ Terrible _ idea.” Damian got up and cracked his spine with a wince.

Logan moved to follow but Virgil didn't let go. “ Virgil. Virgil you have to let go so we can- Virgil it's only going to be around five- Remy what do I do he's not letting go.”

“Just carry him, babe. Or throw him. He won't really care.” Remy took a flying leap at Damian as the lying side reached the couch and tackled him so they both toppled over the back of the couch. Logan just carried Virgil and dropped him unceremoniously on the padded surface.

“This entire day has been an absolute train wreck.”

“Does anyone know where Patton and Roman are? Usually they would have been back by now.”

Remy chortled. Damian flushed and looked away. Virgil just shoved his face further into the space between Logan's neck and shoulder.

“They're probably fine.”


	10. Chapter 10

They were, in fact, not fine.

When Roman's mind caught up with what had happened, his immediate reaction was nothing short of stupid.

"...How did Deceit get here?"

Patton stared at him with wide, glassy eyes. "But what did he mean? Have we been lying to ourselves?"

"Of course not! I don't think..."

They both heard a faint whisper through the air that sent shivers down their spines.  _Lie~._ It sounded vague taunting, or at least disappointed. Roman scowled and shouted at the empty room, "Well then, what exactly are we lying about?"

Patton gasped suddenly and whispered brokenly, "Virgil..."

"What?"

"I keep telling myself that he's fine and everything's normal, but I don't really..." he had to force the words out. "I don't think we're fine. Or at least Virgil is."

Roman almost said something that he had no doubt he would have regretted later.  _Well of course he's not fine! He is literally **Anxiety**. _He twitched as though trying to shake the thought away. 

Luckily for him, Patton was too deep in his own mind. "I mean, he was acting fine, but all of us have done something like that when we don't want the others to worry, especially him, oh dear God Roman what do we do-"

"Padre!" Roman cut off the panicking side. "We can just go talk to him, right? We can ask him what's going on."

"But wouldn't that be cornering him? Isn't that something we should avoid? Maybe he doesn't even need out help. Maybe the best thing to do is to give him some space and let him come to us. Should we do that instead? That's what Logan said before. We should stick with that."

"If he hasn't come to us already, there's a good chance he won't at all. And speaking of Logan, perhaps he could help us deal with whatever's going on with Virgil."

"But where's Logan?"

"I don't know, let's go check his-"

Suddenly, Roman was cut off by a different voice that they had only heard a handful of times. "Virge, honey, why is your friend trying to make out with a wall?"

He shushed Patton and peeked over the edge of the couch as Deceit, a Starbucks wielding trait, and-

"Virgil."  Patton squeaked quietly.

Roman watched as the three sides talked to Logan. At first his attention was fixed on Virgil as he saw the trait shift and tug at the hem of his shirt as he stuck close to the trait that had now identified himself as 'Remy,' and Deceit. the prince-like side stifled a noise as he was caught in a brilliant yellow gaze that stared balefully until Deceit lifted a hand and put a finger to his lips as they curled into something akin to a sneer until he switched his attention to Logan as he questioned what was happening. The deceptive side answered and didn't look at them again. Roman tried to come up with a way to allow his presence to be known until he heard something that made his blood run cold.

“Forgive me if I am crossing any boundaries, but may I see? You can refuse if you wish.”

“No, it-it’s fine Logan.” 

“The bandaging is very well done, at least. Very neat. I'm assuming you cleaned the wounds before wrapping them.”

"Yeah."

_ Cleaned the- is he- di d Virgil \- was I- what do es- WHAT?!?! _

Beside him, he could feel Patton's heart and breathing pick up, so he could have come to the same conclusion that Roman had. 

He glanced over just in time to see the most awkward hug he had ever witnessed, but couldn't find it in him to laugh. Biting his lip, he sank out with Patton surrounded by his own echoing thoughts and the unsettling feeling of Deceit's ( _Not Damian,_ he reminded himself.  _I have no right to call him by his actual name._ ) glowing, cold eye fixed on him.

_ I will fix this, _  he vowed as he caught sight of Virgil with sparkling tears on his lashes.  _I promise._


	11. Chapter 11

Surrounded by the comforting heat of his family, Virgil realized just how touched starved he was when he found himself almost physically unable to let go of Logan. Squirming around to shed his jacket, he sighed when Remy draped it over him like a blanket, curling up even tighter. Something went over his head, and he shook off the hat while Damian snickered at him.

“You shut up,” he muttered.

“He didn't say anything.”

Remy slouched further down into the cushions and glared over his sunglasses. “You, ma’am, are trying my patience.”

Logan was about to respond when Virgil reached up and covered his mouth. “Naptime now,” he said, slitting his eyes open and watching Logan. “You don't look like you've been sleeping either. So we are going to do that.”

Logan ran a hand through his already messed up hair as he began to protest, but was cut off by Remy clearing his throat loudly. Reluctantly, he gave in and awkwardly shifted so he was lying down. Virgil exhaled sharply and, when Logan looked over, held out an arm.

“I will assume you are aware that both of us cannot fit under your single hoodie.”

Damian snapped his fingers and tossed a patchwork blanket at him. Trying to catch it proved a useless endeavor as Logan missed and it wrapped around his head. Remy snorted and put down his phone before grabbing the reptilian side and lying on top of him.

“Why.”

“Because. You are not allowed out of this either, Scales.”

Damian hissed but obliged. Logan whipped the blanket off and glowered at him, glasses askew, but the heterochromia side simply stuck out his tongue and nodded at Virgil, who had curled up like a cat.

As the anxious side stretched, his hair flopped over his eyes as he stared at nothing.

_ Well, at the very least Logan took it well. _

**_You know he's faking it_ ** _. _

_ If he is, then at least I'll still have Rem and Dee. _

**_Will you? Or will they leave you and betray your trust like everyone else has?_ **

_ We'll see. _

And with that, he slammed the connection down and closed his eyes, feeling Logan shift beside him and, slowly, cautiously, laid his head on the other trait’s shoulder. Logan did nothing but tentatively start playing with Virgil's hair, petting him and adjusting himself to accommodate the both of them comfortably.

Remy glanced over, grinned to himself and snapped a few photos before stealing Damian's hat.

The only response he received was a light smack to the back of the head.

For a few moments, there was silence as the four sat comfortably, simply at peace with the quiet atmosphere.

But all good things most come to an end.

There was a racket that was slowly growing closer until Roman burst in with Patton trailing behind him, successfully scaring three out of the four sides there. Virgil jumped with hiss and hid behind Logan, who had done a rather violent full bodied twitch. Remy let out a startled curse of “what the FUCK,”  before covering his face with his hands and laughing quietly at himself, and Damian just kind of stared before rubbing his face tiredly.

“Virgil!” Roman declared while Patton fluttered around in a nervous tizzy. “We are going to fix things with you!”

“What?” Virgil blinked blearily at them, poking his head from around Logan's shoulders.

“Well, uh, we-we’ve been pretty worried about you kiddo and Dam-Deceit was, um, nice enough to point out that we've been lying to ourselves about the whole situation and haven't really, uh, t-taken your feelings into consideration.” Patton stumbled with his words, but was clear enough to get the point across.

“Damn gay,” Remy muttered, still not removing his hands from his face.

“Isn't the terminology-”

“Bitch I know what I said don't correct me.”

“You should really watch your language around Patton, you know!”

“Oh, yes,  _ Princey,  _ because you've  _ never _ cursed in your life.”

“You have no place here anyway, you snake!”

“Roman, might I suggest-”

“You shut your mouth,  _ honey _ , before I shut it for you.”

“Are you  _ threatening _ me?”

“Bitch I might be.”

“Come on guys, please don't fight!”

The cacophony of arguing was disturbed by the sound of a slightly deranged laugh. Looking around, every gaze came to rest on Virgil, who was laughing uncontrollably.

Silenced reigned as Virgil paused to wipe some tears that had formed without his permission.

“What,” he voice cracked, dangerously close to shattering. “Makes you think that you can fix  _ any _ of this?!?” He gestured wildly to himself.

“What the  _ hell _ .”

Patton flinched.

“Makes you think.”

Roman froze.

“That you can even come close.”

Remy tensed.

“To fixing  _ ME!?!?” _

Logan gasped.

“I'm fucking  _ BROKEN!!!!” _

Damian shattered.

And Virgil disappeared.


	12. Chapter 12

The silenced echoed with the sounds of heartbreak.

Then Roman jolted up with a wail. “Why do I make everything worse!?!”

“Calm down so we can attempt to figure this-”

“No! Logan, you need to realize that not everything can be rationalised! Feelings do not have rhyme or reason!”

“Kiddo, Logan might be right…. Let's just hear each other out for now, okay?”

They all turned to Patton, who was sitting with tears streaming down his face. Nonetheless, his voice was remarkably steady while he spoke.

“Patton is correct. It would not be beneficial to either Virgil or us to confront him while emotions are as rampant as they are currently.” Logan adjusted his glasses.

“On the one hand, Logan, you are correct. However,” Damian paused and grimaced, rubbing his throat. “Roman is also right. When Virgil's emotions begin running higher than normal, he's prone to do things that, typically, do not work out in the long run.”

“So we have to go after him now?”

“Yeah.” Remy stood up and yanked Damian up with him. “We'll go first. Only come in when we say so. Understand?” He gave them an cold glare until they nodded.

“Come on then.”

***

Virgil paced around his room, the shadows darkening and lengthening with his thoughts.

The voice was laughing insanely as he pulled at his hair tying to get it to  _ shut up leave me alone leave me like everyone else will go AWAY. _

**_It wasn't even them that decided you weren't worth it! It was you that broke what you had! Oh, this is spectacular! I can't believe you pushed them away! It's all your own fault!_ **

He bolted over to his dresser where he had his butterfly knife hidden. Flipping it open, he paused and glanced at the door. He debated with the faint cry in the back of his mind - _ don't do it! They still care about you! It's not worth it! _ \- before deciding that if the others came through he door in the next ten seconds, he wouldn't do anything.

Waiting with baited breath, and gazing at the door almost hopefully, his shoulders slumped as he got down to  _ 3, _

_ 2, _

_ 1, _

_...guys? _

**_0._ **

He flinched at the first cut.

Twitched at the second.

And let out a breath at the third.

Four, five, six, seven….

_ Losing count _ (and blood, his mind reminded him.)

He still had enough willpower to avoid the wrapping that Remy had done with such care ( **_care that he shouldn't be wasting on_ ** **_you._ ** ) But his legs and the rest of his arms?

Fair game.

Finally throwing the blade against the wall, he sobbed. Loud, ugly, harsh breaths that shook his whole body, and made the tears flow faster.

He buried his face in the pillow and hugged his black cat pillow to his chest, allowing himself at least a little bit of comfort, until his thoughts were disrupted by the sound of his door opening softly and then clicking shut just as gently. He curled even further in on himself, ignoring the stings as he attempted to cover his arms and legs, momentarily forgetting that he was in his tee-shirt and had shifted into his looser pajama pants. The smell of coffee and chocolate hit his nose and he turned away.

He heard the intruder sigh. “Oh, sweet pea. You've had a really rough day, haven't you?”

He didn't respond, but was picked up and taken to the bathroom. He sat, unresponsive as Remy carefully cleaned his self inflicted wounds as gently as though he was something precious ( **_but you're not you're broken and filthy and a pile of glass on the floor_ ** ) and talked to him about small things.

Things like what kind of drink he might try next.

What he could be for Halloween.

Whether or not he should get a pet of some sort.

Virgil opened his mouth and, without looking up, rasped “you could just keep Damian as a pet snake.”

“Yeah, I could, but can you imagine the kind of fit he'd throw? Unless I could bribe him with something…” Remy stared at the ceiling in thought, then shrugged. “Eh, I'll figure it out.”

“...where are the others?”

“Waiting for my permission from you to let them in. Also, I brought Dee.”

A golden snake the size of Virgil's arm slid out from Remy's jacket and into his lap. It raised its head and stuck its tongue out at Virgil. He smiled softly at it and whispered “hey, Dee.” Damian slithered onto him and coiled himself around his shoulders and arms, nuzzling him and hissing.

“Do you want them to come in?”

“Logan can. For now. I think. Does he want to see me? Oh God he probably doesn't he must hate me oh why did I freak out like that-”

“Repression.” A calmer voice cut in before he could spiral again.

Virgil blinked at Logan. “What?”

“Repression is extremely unhealthy for the mind and emotionial wellbeing of an individual.” Logan dipped his head at the sight of the snake. “Hello Damian.”

The snake waved its tail.

Everyone awkwardly stood or sat staring at each other until Logan cleared his throat and held out something. “I thought you might appreciate these. They seemed to your style and aesthetics.”

Virgil took the offered object and saw that they were cat ear headphones with LED lights in the ears. Pressing the button on the back, he was rewarded with a soft purple glow from the ears. He grinned and hugged Logan, taking them both by surprise, and let go, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he was covered in white-stained-red bandages and in nothing but pajamas.

Remy swooped in and picked him up again, except this time, he threw  _ himself _ at the bed so he landed with Virgil on top of him. Damian hissed in displeasure and slithered over the Logan, who picked him up gently and watched the serpent twine around his hands and arms. “Amazing,” he murmured, lightly petting the snake.

“Don't feed his ego,” Remy called from the bed where he was now laying on top of Virgil.

“I think-”

“Don't you dare force yourself to do something you don't want to do.” Logan said, deadpan, without looking up from inspecting the details of Damian's scales.

Virgil shrunk back. “Nevermind,” he muttered.

“Do you just wanna stay like this for now?” Remy questioned, already on Tumblr.

Virgil looked at them and just whispered “yes, please.”

Logan made his way over and summoned a book. Leaning on Remy, he began to read.

Let it be known that Remy was still on Virgil.

“This is how I'm going to die. Suffocated by my family's love,” Virgil droned flatly, not really caring.

“Shut up and go to sleep, drama queen.”

“K, <3.”

“Did you just-”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

“How-”

“No one really knows now you can shut up too, Autocorrect.”

“...”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short

Patton paced back and forth in front of Roman and Logan, the former had slumped to the floor after Remy had slipped into Virgil's bedroom, but Logan simply leaned against the wall, not acknowledging the other two. Patton was fully aware that both he and Roman wanted to rush in and help, but there was no doubt that it would just make the situation worse again. At least he could sense the burning negative emotions beginning to soften. More like a warm, little candle flame than a raging forest fire in a thunderstorm.

The fatherly side glanced at the other when he saw movement. “They've been in there for a while. We should probably go check on them,” Roman said starting to stand up. He stopped when a cold voice snapped at him like a whip.

“It has been a minimum of four minutes and thirty-seven seconds. If that is 'a while’ to you, perhaps you should go to your room and entertain yourself there.” Logan hadn't even looked at either of them, and his frosty demeanor made it all the more evident; Logan was furious, and rightly so.

“I just wanted to make sure that he was alright,” Roman said defensively.

Patton winced as Logan finally turned to them, eyes blazing. “If that was the case, you would not have barged in like an absolute moron with no comprehension of the situation. You would have left us to deal with it and waited for an appropriate time to approach. But what did you do?”

“I-”

“Assumed you knew what was occurring and dealt with it accordingly? While dragging Patton along with you? Is that what you were going to say?”

“Patton was-”

“Also at fault here, but not completely in the wrong. In fact, he could have managed to diffuse the situation even more as he seems to be the most familial with Virgil while you are typically at a standoff with him. You are also part of the reason for this, so there is that.”

“You-”

“Are also at fault here as well, I admit. However, I distinctly recall informing you that it would be best to stop the prank before further damage was caused.”

Roman slammed his fist against the wall, eyes glassy, and almost screamed, “you're not  _ listening _ to me!”

“You  _ never _ listen to me! Almost _ none  _ of you have!” Logan threw up his hands and turned away dismissively.

Patton, who had kept his hands clasped over his mouth, moved over so he was between the bickering sides. “We can't fight right now. Virgil needs us.”

Logan looked at him pointedly.

“When he's ready, Virgil will need our support.”

Logan nodded.

They waited a few more seconds before the door clicked open slightly and something slid out. They looked at the small garden snake and, when it poked it's head into the air inquisitively, stayed in their positions. Tasting the air, the small reptile slithered over to Logan and, sliding up his body to rest around his neck, booped his nose gently. Slinking back down, it stared until Logan followed it, and the door shut after him.

The other two gazed after them in silence before returning to their own minds.

Or lack thereof.

Patton couldn't stop the flinch when he felt Virgil's emotions run on the dangerous side again.

“You okay Patdre?”

“Yeah, but I think I'm just gonna camp out here for a while. You can leave if you want.”

“Not really, but I will grab something and return.”

Patton didn't point out the fact that they could literally summon things into being. He understood that Roman had to move and get out of his own head.

Honestly, he understood a little too deeply.

This was going to result in a lot of stress baking. He could feel it.

Sliding down the door, he briefly entertained the thought of Virgil as Elsa and Roman as Anna singing 'Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?’  

He would deny giggling randomly in the hallway if anyone had been around to ask.

Thumping his head softly against the door, he tried as hard as he could to send calm, positive waves over the void that separated them.

_ Don't worry, kiddo, _ he thought. _ We'll get through this. Together. _

_ As a family. _

_ I promise. _

He was rewarded with a faint pulse of warmth.

He did nothing to suppress the small, fond smile that emerged from that one little tentative reach out to him.

Tucking his head between his arms, he began to cry.


	14. Chapter 14

“I think I can face the others.”

Damian lifted his head and flicked his tongue out, watching Virgil as his eyes darted around the room. It had been about twenty minutes since they had laid down together and it had been silent since then.

“Or at least Patton.”

“Let's just do Patton for now, hun.”

Logan nodded in agreement and got up with  _ no _ regards to a certain snake that had been quite comfortable, thank you!

Damian lashed his tail in indignation as he was forced to slither down to the bed. Moving over to Virgil, he wrapped the tip of his tail around the others wrist in a silent show of support.

Patton, he knew, had been trying to be respectful of Virgil's boundaries, but hadn't really put much thought into how to deal with the emotionally fragile side. He usually tried to see the best in people, so it would stand to reason that he had thought (or foolishly hoped) that Virgil would come to them himself.

Damian was brought out of his musings as Logan returned with Patton following meekly behind him. The fatherly trait was looking rather out of his element, steps slow and hands jittery. When he caught sight of Virgil struggling to get out from underneath Remy, who was still unhelpfully limp, his face underwent several expressions. Hope, horror, guilt, fear, and determination in rapid succession.

_ Good. He knows what they did, and he is fully prepared to put in effort to make this right. _

“Remy, get off!” Virgil finally had enough and slumped back down with a pout. Looking up at Remy imploringly, he gazed up at him pitifully. “Please?”

Remy cooed and squished Virgil's cheeks. “Of course, babe! That's all you had to say.”

“Great, now move,” Virgil replied, using Remy's now unbalanced weight against him and tossing him over the side of the bed, where he landed with a heavy thud.

His head popped up, glasses askew. He glared halfheartedly and snorted. “Rude-ass bitch.”

“Peasant.”

“Try me bitch.”

“Um, guys?” Patton's voice broke the madness and he tentatively settled on the edge of the bed, glancing at Virgil questioningly. When he nodded, Patton relaxed a bit more. “Is this… normal?”

Damian tilted his head from side to side.

“Okay then. Um…” he looked at Virgil, figeting slightly. Damain narrowed his eyes, inspecting him, and rose up to be eye level with him as Logan stared as well. Patton opened his mouth and blurted out a confusing jumble of words.

“VirgilmayIhugyou?”

“...What?”

“Can...can I give you a hug? You seem like you might need one and if you don't, well, I certainly do.” Patton flailed frantically. “B-but don't do anything you're not comfortable with! It was rude of me to assume, and you know what assuming does; it-”

“I'd like a hug.”

His quiet voice caused Patton to beam brightly. He spread his arms and leaned forward slightly. Virgil met him in the middle, and Damian slithered over to them and coiled around their torso's, tugging them closer. There was a startled gasp to the side, and they looked over to see Remy hanging from Logan's shoulders as the other staggered, attempting to remain standing.

Virgil gigled at the sight of the two and sank deeper into the embrace. Patton rocked back and forth slightly, moving to allow more space for Damian.

The domestic moment was broken by a rather loud growl. They all looked around the room in confusion and, in some cases, slight fear.

All except Remy, who had fallen off a blushing Logan because he was laughing so hard. Rolling on the floor, cackling with laughter, he pushed his sunglasses up and attempted to explain while tears streamed down his cheeks. “He- his- I can't believe-!” Before collapsing back in another fit.

Logan adjusted his glasses bashfully, averting his eyes. With the red blush prominent across his cheekbones, he cleared his throat. “ My apologies. It appears that in the events of today, I have forgotten the proper nutrition in snacks or meals.”

“...That was your stomach?!”

“...Perhaps.”

Virgil joined Remy on the floor, Patton following closely behind. Damian hissed lightly in a sort of reptilian giggle, sticking his tongue out at the embarrassed side.

Patton volunteered to go make cookies and darted out of the room, Remy offering to help. Virgil shouted to not let “that coffee stealing bitch anywhere near the cookie dough or you won't have any left!” Logan squawking that cookies held no nutritional value, and Damian coiling up on Virgil's shoulders as they all bolted after Patton.

There was a sudden stop from all of them, however, as they came across Roman, frozen in place and staring at them from down the hallway with a notebook in hand.

The prince flinched - an actual, nervously fearful, twitch beckward - as Virgil gave a squeak.

“Roman?”


	15. Chapter 15

When Patton had been the next one in, Roman couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment, even though he knew he deserved it. Tapping his foot against the floor thoughtfully, he leaned his head on the wall and sighed. Patton had told him to just be patient, but he'd had enough of waiting around. He was a man of action! He was the Prince! He was…

Roman dropped his head again, huffing out a breath through his nose.

A massive idiot.

He was able to admit it, mainly because he was fully aware of the reaction his actions had caused. Heaving himself up off the floor, he sprang up and forced a bold, determined smile of his face. He'd just have to think of different was to make this up to Virgil! That was one of the things ( ** _the only thing_** ) he was good for! His fingers ghosted over his own arm before shrugging it off and heading for his room to grab a notebook or at least _something_ to keep his mind occupied with other thoughts.

Returning a few moments later, his finger flipping through pages rapidly, he didn't notice the sound of voices until they were almost on top of him. Slowly lifting his gaze from the pages, he was met with the sight of Patton running out of Virgil's room, shouting something about cookies with the other side ( _Remy,_ his brain reminded him) chasing after him with a Starbucks cup and sunglasses perched precariously on his head. He was followed by Virgil, who was yelling something at Patton, but all Roman caught was “coffee stealing bitch” before noticing the streak of yellow wrapped around his shoulders and neck. He was taken aback to also see that Virgil had shed his usual hoodie, instead in a tee-shirt and pajama pants. Before he could catch a glimpse of anything else, he heard Logan screeching about nutritional value and saw the more commonly serious side go flying after the others. Feeling as though he was intruding, he started to try and back away until Patton caught sight of him and froze in his tracks, causing Remy to slam into him and almost topple them both over. Virgil skidded to a halt just behind them, but sidestepped rather neatly to avoid Logan, who also managed to stop, just less gracefully.

Meeting their gazes, he felt himself flinch as Virgil squeaked breathlessly.

“...Roman?”

Swallowing back a hint of bile as he took in the state of the youngest side - arms covered in bloodstained gauze just past the mid upper arm, eyeshadow smudged and covering almost completely around his eyes making him look like a raccoon, and the way he carried himself making it clear that his legs had received the same treatment as his arms - he ducked his head ( _quack_ ) and toed at the floor, gripping the notebook tightly and holding it to his chest, and bit his lip.

“Hey… Virgil…”

Waiting with baited breath, he glanced up in time to see Logan and Remy step in front of Virgil slightly, one with more precise movements and the other with such cold rage he had to force himself to stay in place. The serpent swayed slightly, before launching himself off of Virgil and hitting the floor as Deceit, who stared at him with a vaguely judgemental gaze. Patton stayed off to the side, twisting his hands nervously. Roman swallowed and took another step forward before sinking to his knees and stared up at Virgil sorrowfully.

“Virgil, I am so sorry for what I did. I know that there is no excuse, but I was so determined to help that I didn't think about how I was affecting you, and that caused you more pain. For that, I am truly sorry.” He averted his eyes, not wanting to see the others reactions. “I know how much it hurts when you feel as though you are inadequate, and I know how strong the urge is to punish yourself for something that you have no control over, or to just wish for something that you yourself caused.” He heard stifled gasps as the others picked up on the underlying messages.

**_Now you've done it. They hate you now, even if they didn't before._ **

He was abruptly shaken out of that train of thought when he felt a pair of hands gently cup his cheeks and turn his head towards them. He looked up into Virgil's tearful face, both of them on the ground with the other three watching.

_Why is he crying? Was my apology really that bad?_

He felt something warm run down his own cheek before it soaked into Virgil bandages.

_Why am_ **_I_ ** _crying?_

Virgil gave him a shaky smile and hugged him, shoulders shuddering as he tried to suppress his sobs. He muttered something into Roman's sash that nobody could make out.

“What was that?” Roman asked, cursing the way his voice trembled.

“I said I've cried way to much today.” Virgil lifted his head as he repeated what he had said so the others could hear him too.

There was a strangled little giggle from Patton as Remy carefully hugged him while dragging Damian into it. Logan turned away with an obvious look of disappointment, for some reason assuming that he wasn't going to be getting affection, until Virgil tugged on his pants leg and Roman held out an arm invitingly.

“Hey Roman?” Virgil murmured.

“Yes, nightshade?”

“Can I see?”

“I… suppose…”

Roman tugged up his sleeves and Virgil traced the darker skin that formed neat, orderly lines across the prince's forearms.

“Mine are messier,” Virgil trailed off with a frown. Inspecting the marks again, he poked at the skin lightly. “These are from around… half a year ago?”

“Yeah… I stopped a while ago.”

“I did not.”

“Clearly.”

“Please refrain from making remarks like that around Patton, or you may get smothered with love.” Logan's voice cut through their conversation.

Roman laughed as Virgil scoffed and they remained in silence for moments after until Patton leapt up and shrieked something about double the reason to make cookies. Remy tossed out a suggestion about marathoning the Harry Potter movies, and followed him into the kitchen, flipping his glasses back down again. Damian tipped his hat mockingly at the other three as they tried to get untangled, and slunk after the others.

This time when Virgil flinched after moving to sharply (no doubt splitting skin in several different places again), Roman noticed and did something about it.

Picking him up, he disregarded the offended yowls as Virgil demanded to be put down, beginning to march down the stairs, leaving the third on the floor.

Rolling his eyes, Logan trotted down the stairs, passing the other two and joining Patton, Damian and Remy in the kitchen, where the “coffee stealing bitch” was indeed eating all of the cookie dough.

Remy hummed happily as Patton simply let him have that batch of cookie dough, choosing to instead make another batch (or four).

Damian sighed in exasperation as he was the chosen one to put in the movie, which he could only achieve by skirting nimbly around the body of Roman laying face down on the floor as Virgil laughed from the sidelines.

Patton giggled as he read the recipe, glancing over the book ever so often to watch the rest of his family interact before dancing over to the oven to get it preheated for the cookies ( _and brownies_ , he decided).

Virgil was absolutely cackling as Roman remained on the floor from when Virgil had managed to tug a stool directly in front of Roman, who didn't see it until it was too late and had tossed Virgil on the couch before tripping and falling flat on his face.

Roman bemoaned his luck from the floor, refusing to move his face in case Virgil saw the massive grin that he was unable to subdue. Slowly dragging himself across the floor, he reached imploringly at Virgil, playfully begging him to help him up before he died on “this cold, lonely, desolate floor, my good comrade!” To which Virgil replied with a straight faced “then perish,” and began hobbling away as fast as he could as Roman squawked in mock outrage and started chasing after him.

Damian looked out over the sea of ensuing chaos and smirked as he caught sight of Remy with cookie dough in his hair and on his nose with Logan trying to clean it off. Flopping back on the couch, he sighed in contentment and waited for the movie to begin.

***

Virgil looked around at his family in the darkened room.

Remy had created a massive pillow and blanket fort, Roman was shouting encouragement at the characters, Logan was fussing about how unrealistic the whole thing was (but everybody else knew that he was enjoying it just as much), Damian had turned into a snake that resembled Nagini and snuck up on Roman (which had prompted one of the loudest screams they had ever heard and Damian had almost gotten killed), and Patton was staring at the screen in rapture dispite the fact that he was literally mouthing every word.

He sat back, feeling more at ease than he could ever remember.

Yeah, some nightmares were absolutely real and terrifying and made you want to run or hide or just give up…

But it was that first flash of hope with the sunrise that seemed to chase the fears away.

And Virgil knew that when night fell again, his family would be right there beside him to chase the nightmares away.

 

FIN

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! I'm not actually very satisfied with the ending, but I figured I could do a sequel or something if I feel the urge...  
> Like how Roman started and stopped, or how Damian and Remy found out about Virgil, or even just Roman giving Virgil tips on how to resist the urge to cut(?).  
> Feel free to toss some ideas at me for anything I should do next!  
> Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> So? What did you guys think? If people like it, I'll try and add more, but I don't really have a schedule, and this'll be short regardless, but yeah! Let me know what you think!


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